Trump Wants To Rebrand His Trade War


WELCOME, WELCOME ONE AND ALL. LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, CHILDREN
OF ALL AGES, WELCOME TO THE LATE SHOW. I’M YOUR HOST STEPHEN COLBERT. REMEMBER, REMEMBER, REMEMBER
DURING THE CAMPAIGN IN 2016 WHEN THE PRESIDENT SAID THAT WE’RE
GOING TO WIN SO MUCH WE GET TIRED OF WINNING? (LAUGHTER)
WALL STREET GOT THERE FIRST. CUZ TODAY
BECAUSE TODAY, THE DOW PLUNGED 617 POINTS. TO PUT THAT LOSS INTO
PERSPECTIVE, WE HAVE A REPORT FROM “THE LATE SHOW” FINANCIAL
CORRESPONDENT: ♪ ♪ ♪
(LAUGHTER)>>Stephen: THE STOCK MARKET WAS
HE WILL BE MISSED. THE STOCK MARKET, IT WAS
REACTING EVIDENTLY TO THE BREAKDOWN OF NEGOTIATIONS
BETWEEN THE UNITED STATES AND CHINA OR A NEW TRADE DEAL AND I
WILL TELL YOU ALL ABOUT IT HAD IN OUR NEW
♪ TRADE WAR, UH WHAT IS IT GOOD FOR
♪ I AM REALLY ASKING SAY IT AGAIN Y’ALL ♪
(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)>>Stephen: THANK YOU, JON. HERE’S WHAT HAPPENED: AFTER OVER
A YEAR OF TENSE NEGOTIATIONS, LAST WEEK, OUR DELEGATES IN
BEIJING WERE BANGING OUT THE DETAILS OF A FINAL TRADE
AGREEMENT. BUT THE U.S. BALKED WHEN CHINA
SAID THEY WERE NO LONGER WILLING TO COMMIT TO CHANGING LAWS
COVERING INTELLECTUAL PROPERTY, FORCED TECHNOLOGY TRANSFER,
SUBSIDIES AND OTHER ISSUES. THEY ALSO OBJECTED TO
PUBLICATION OF ALL THE DETAILS OF THE AGREEMENT, PREFERRING A
SUMMARY. OH! (LAUGHTER)
REALLY? THE WHITE HOUSE IS UPSET BECAUSE
CHINA WANTS TO RELEASE A SUMMARY? (LAUGHTER)
(AS TRUMP) “NO WAY. NO WAY, XI. I KNOW HOW SUMMARIES WORK. IT’S GONNA BE FOUR PAGES LONG
AND A BUCKET O’ LIES.” SO TALKS BROKE DOWN ON FRIDAY,
AND TRUMP IMPOSED HIS TARIFFS. AND HE’S WARNING CHINA TO CAVE
SOON. (AS TRUMP)
“THE DEAL WILL BECOME FAR WORSE FOR THEM IF IT HAS TO BE
NEGOTIATED IN MY SECOND TERM. WOULD BE WISE FOR THEM TO ACT
NOW, BUT LOVE COLLECTING BIG TARIFFS!”
(AS TRUMP RAPPING) “♪ I LIKE BIG TARIFFS
AND I CANNOT LIE ♪ YOU OTHER LEADERS CAN’T DENY
WHEN XI WALKS IN ♪ WITH THE ITTY BITTY TRADE
AND THE SOY BEANS IN YOUR FACE ♪ YOU GET SPRUNG ♪”
SPRUNG. (LAUGHTER)
THE PRESIDENT THINKS HE CAN OUTLAST THE CHINESE, BECAUSE HE
SEES TARIFFS AS FREE MONEY.>>OUR COUNTRY CAN TAKE IN $120
BILLION A YEAR IN TARIFFS, PAID FOR MOSTLY BY CHINA, BY THE WAY. NOT BY US. A LOT OF PEOPLE TRY TO STEER IT
IN A DIFFERENT DIRECTION. IT’S REALLY PAID– ULTIMATELY,
IT’S PAID FOR BY– LARGELY BY CHINA.>>Stephen: NOTICE HOW THAT
CLAIM GETS WEAKER THE LONGER THAT SENTENCE GOES ON? (LAUGHTER)
(AS TRUMP) “IT’S PAID MOSTLY BY CHINA. LARGELY. SOMEWHAT. KINDA SORTA. I MEAN, THAT’S WHAT I HEARD. THEY DON’T PAY ANYTHING. WE’RE SCREWED.” (LAUGHTER)
BUT– AND SPOILER– TRUMP IS LYING. (LAUGHTER)
AS CHRIS WALLACE POINTED OUT YESTERDAY TO WHITE HOUSE
ECONOMIC ADVISOR AND LAST LIVING CALIFORNIA RAISIN, LARRY–
(LAUGHTER) (CHEERS)
♪ OOH, I BET YOU WONDER HOW I KNEW ♪
LARRY KUDLOW.>>IT’S NOT CHINA THAT PAYS
TARIFFS. IT’S THE AMERICAN IMPORTERS, THE
AMERICAN COMPANIES THAT PAY WHAT IN EFFECT IS A TAX INCREASE AND
OFTENTIMES PASSES IT ON TO U.S. CONSUMERS.>>FAIR ENOUGH. IN FACT, BOTH SIDES WILL PAY. BOTH SIDES WILL PAY IN THESE
THINGS.>>IT’S U.S. BUSINESSES AND U.S. CONSUMERS WHO PAY, CORRECT?>>YES, TO SOME EXTENT. I DON’T DISAGREE WITH THAT. AGAIN, BOTH SIDES, BOTH SIDES
WILL SUFFER ON THIS.>>Stephen: YEAH, TECHNICALLY
ONE SIDE PAYS THE PRICE, BUT BOTH SIDES SUFFER. IT IS A BOLD MARKETING STRATEGY. IT REMINDS OF THAT AD CAMPAIGN:
“TACO BELL: EVERYONE WILL SUFFER.” (LAUGHTER)
(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) ♪ OOH, I BET YOU
WONDER HOW I KNEW ♪ ♪ ABOUT YOUR PLANS TO MAKE ME
BLUE. ♪.>>WAM AS CONTINUED TO DRAG
COULD LO KICK– COULDLY QUUD LOW KICKING AND SCREAMING INTO
REALITY.>>HOW LONG WAS HE WAGE THIS
TRADE WAR WITH CHINA WHICH CLEARLY HAS COST TO THE AMERICAN
ECONOMY AND SCEUMENTERS AND BUSINESSES.>>WELL, I DON’T KNOW. I MEAN CAN I SUBSTITUTE TRADE
NEGOTIATION FOR TRADE WAR?>>Stephen: NO, YOU CAN’T. NICE TRY THOUGH. I KNOW WHY YOU WANT TO CHANGE
IT, BECAUSE IT MAKES IT SEEM LESS DANGEROUS. THERE SAY REASON NO
THERE’S A REASON NO ONE WENT TO SEE: “AVENGERS: INFINITY
NEGOTIATION.” NOW, ULTIMATELY, KUDLOW DID
ADMIT THAT AMERICANS WILL PAY FOR THE TARIFFS, BUT THIS
MORNING TRUMP DISAGREED, TWEETING, “THEIR IS NO REASON
FOR THE U.S. CONSUMER TO PAY THE TARIFFS, WHICH TAKE EFFECT ON
CHINA TODAY.” AND THERE IS NO REASON TO USE
THAT “THEIR” IN THAT THERE SENTENCE. AND, AGAIN, IT’S NOT TRUE. (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)
AND, AGAIN, IT’S NOT TRUE. WE PAY. MAYBE THAT’S A GOOD THING. IT IS A BAD THING, I DON’T KNOW. I UNDERSTAND ECONOMICS AS WELL
AS DONALD TRUMP DOES. I BET IF I TRIED I COULD LOSE
$10 BILLION. IN RETALIATION, CHINA IS RAISING
TARIFFS ON $60 BILLION OF U.S. GOODS, MOSTLY AGRICULTURAL
PRODUCTS STARTING UNION 1S. BUT DON’T WORRY, FARMERS, TRUMP
HAS A PLAN. “WE WILL BE TAKING IN TENS OF
BILLIONS OF DOLLARS IN TARIFFS FROM CHINA. BUYERS OF PRODUCT CAN MAKE IT
THEMSELVES IN THE U.S.A.– IDEAL– OR BUY IT FROM NON-
TARIFFED COUNTRIES DOT, DOT, DOT, DOT, DOT, DOT, DOT, WE WILL
THEN SPEND– MATCH OR BETTER– THE MONEY THAT CHINA MAY NO
LONGER BE SPENDING WITH OUR GREAT PATRIOT FARMERS–
AGRICULTURE– WHICH IS A SMALL PERCENTAGE OF TOTAL TARIFFS
RECEIVED, AND DISTRIBUTE THE FOOD TO STARVING PEOPLE IN
NATIONS AROUND THE WORLD! GREAT! MAGA!”
(LAUGHTER) SO GIVE THE MONEY TO THE FARMERS
, GIVE THE FOOD TO STARVING PEOPLE. THE ONLY WAY TRUMP CAN GIVE
ANYTHING TO POOR PEOPLE IS OUT OF SPITE.>>DO YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME
DO, CHINA. YOU MADE ME GIVE FOOD TO
STARVING PEOPLE. COME BACK TO THE NEGOTIATING
TABLE RIGHT NOW BEFORE I GIVE MEDICINE TO THE SICK. I’LL DO IT, OKAY. I’M TALKING UNIVERSAL HEALTH
CARE, DON’T PUSH THESE TARIFFS COULD RAISE THE
PRICE OF A HUGE RANGE OF PRODUCTS INCLUDING, DOG COLLARS,
APPAREL MADE FROM REPTILE LEATHER, MATTRESS SUPPORTS, AND
CHRISTMAS TREE LIGHTS. THAT’S REALLY GOING TO HURT THE
HOLIDAY-THEMED SEX DUNGEON INDUSTRY. (LAUGHTER)
(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) AND THANKS TO TRUMP, WE WERE
FINALLY MOANING “MERRY CHRISTMAS” AGAIN. (LAUGHTER)

100 thoughts on “Trump Wants To Rebrand His Trade War

  1. You Americans are stupid regulation of import duties is the best thing Trump has done .
    But for you guys hate for 1 person is more important than the well-being of your nation.

  2. I'm Chinese, I support Trump's Tariff war against CCP. CCP gain hundreds of billions dollars trading with US, the money never go to Chinese people, CCP use it to torture people in Xinjiang&Tibet, crack down freedom, block free speech. You Americans are literally helping CCP do evil via buying Chinese cheap products.I don't blame you , bcz everyone care about themselves. But nobody can deprive me of supporting President Trump, for me it's not a tariff war, it's a real war against CCP.

  3. You all are a bunch of ignorant morons. You are getting your info from a dumb comedian who puts the spin on things and leaves certain info out. I don't like any politician but Colbert is an idiot. If everyone here hates the president so bad and hates how he's running the country then why don't you leave. There's plenty of places to go that's better right? Well, go there and you won't have to worry about what happens here. Complaining like children does no one any good. All it does is create more division which is exactly what the government wants and if you can't see that, you are deaf, dumb, and blind. If you honestly believe things would be better under another Clinton administration you are completely brain washed, indoctrinated and can't think for yourselves and that's why you turn to this moron, so he can guide you along like little puppy dogs. Listen people, government as a whole is ruining our country no matter who is in charge. If you want to change things quit your damn whining, wake the hell up and think for yourself and maybe, just maybe you'll see the real truth. I pray for all of you

  4. Is this a late night comedy show, or an indoctrination program, and a clown thinking he knows what he’s talking about?

  5. I don't like Trump. But free trade isn't good for workers. We need fair trade. Workers in China and America need to be protected and cherished. Paper pushers and bankers do not make an economy.

  6. Nevermind we want our industries back that Nixon gave to China and has built for 40 years. The eastern US and Canada is a shell of its former self. The east used to manufacture everything. We are flooded with machinists in the west looking for work doing anything and now no one has wotk because Alberta oil has been devestated along with it's people. Incuding me. Renewables will happen no matter what in the next 50 to 75 years. Right now we need pipelines for a strong economy to give energy companies a chance to invest in i ovation for the future. They are not oilcompanies they are energy companies and in the next 50 years if we keep them healthy today they will be our energy companies of tomorrow like suncor.

  7. Why is it so difficult for someone to understand such a basic concept on tariffs. If he does’t understand it just Youtube it. Did anyone tell him about the more advance issue on Tariffs? It will create mega inflation! Bye bye America. Make America great will have a new meaning.

  8. That trump is playing with fire… IF China really wanted a trade war, they could do several things, one more devastating than the other, either subsidize the shit out of the global market, or refuse to sell anything to the US… It'd tank the prices of goods in the rest of the world, but the hairball doesn't seem to care about the rest of the world himself, so fudge him…
    If China really wants to play hard, they could just pull all their US investments at once and see the world burn, while they have production capacity enough to win the business of the rest of us (not in the US), while still being pretty self sustainable. IF China wanted to, they could make the US seem as isolated as NK, time would stop, practically, and US would run out of avocados and maple syrup in a matter of weeks.
    Why doesn't that lard lump realize that the reason for his success is the free and global market?

    Edit: I'm sure that the EU will be happy to amp up the machinery that's in store, to earn on the CN needs of agri products, back in the 90's we had butter mountains building up because the cold war was finally over, so EU agri is actually rather limited by now, to avoid food waste, but if there are buyers, I'm sure those rules can be rolled back in less than a year. Besides, the purchasers can brag about products being GMO-free or even organic. Have fun mr. "president"… you may very well have caused the imbalance that will crash your nations exports more than they already were… I can only wonder how long the big G wants to stay in a politically unstable country.

  9. Trump has never known what he's doing. He can't even write well and has to have someone else to it. I think this was Barron. Trump's an idiot even dealing with Xi and Kim. Both in for life and both don't care about the people of their country. China goes by Marxism and foreign companies have all but left because of China's motto. "If you can cheat someone then cheat them." They believe in making and spending money today. They worship money and will even cheat their government to get it. Look up nail houses. Watch Winston's videos. He married a Chinese Doctor and has lived in China for 13 years. There is no Social Security or health plans in China. Someone gets cancer they use self remedies. And if you marry a Chinese woman you take on the responsibility of ALL her family. You need to have a house and a car. It's really sick. A lot of men can't even find wives because of Mao's one baby rule. So some are being kidnapped from other countries. Human trafficking is going on. And China is taking over Africa. Winston is from South Africa and he shows it. In one town a bunch of Chinese police officers take over a police station there. The Chinese come into a region, loan and pay for all kinds of stuff. When the people can't pay them back. . they take over the city! I kid you not. Look up what Winston shows in his videos. And Xi plans to do that to all of Africa I believe. And so does Winston and he's from there. "serpentza." Scary what Xi is doing. Instead of taking care of the people who are eating rats in his country he's loaning billions to other countries. 🙁 Songs

  10. And by the way THERE WILL NEVER BE ANOTHER TERM FOR THIS SPOILED MORON! He and his corrupt family and administration are going down. And Putin better stay out of it! 🙁

  11. all China has to do is export their mostly finished products to other countries so labeling does not say it's made in China. now we can ship soy bean to other countries but lb for lb not good economic sense…..

  12. trump wants to raise tax but he invents a in-direct tax so everybody pays for which is called the TARIFFS. so beautiful.

  13. Only the smarts can spot the similarity:
    Bush Junior: Iraq has WMD.
    Trump: Huawei is a national security threat.

  14. When a group of MAFIA sit in the house what will happen to the world…America Democracy a big big JOKES

  15. To be honest , i would like to see trump win the 2020 election again , Because it will hurt china economic and technology for most 5 years ,but china will built their own high technology industry and found another supplier very soon , of cause USA will rebuilt their manufacturing again ,its good for both side, the situation will be both side hurt first then both side growing later .
    But , in the long term , China will win , Because China will fill their last gap , the USA will just become a big industry country , The only game point is SPEED!!
    who gonna finish their job first?? its a very simple question , you know the answer if you a reasonable people. PEACE!—– from china

  16. Excuse me! My simple brain can not do such a complex math! One item is 10/dollar before; after 25% tariff increases, it could be 12.5 dollars or more obviously. How much more I have to pay? Would it possibly the item remain the same price?
    If the US importers can easily import the product from other countries, why can’t they have done it years ago, only some clothing things do though. It is possible, Because these giant brands actually have their own factories in China. They earn double points and not tax to the federal government, cause the trade deficit even worse? Why the US companies don’t build their factories in US?
    US monetary system is a double edged sword.

  17. Give 15 billion dollars to farmers (which is the dreaded Socialism the Republicans cringe from) and give food to the poor. Who is paying for the. Collection, transportation, and distribution of all this produce? What a dumb 💩…..

  18. Trump is doing a right thing, save the economy of the USA from being ripping off by China. You should ask why democrats did not do anything for the past decades

  19. quietly starts a patreon to force China to pay the tarrifs and gets right wingers to donate
    Fools and their money are so very easily parted. Why should that guy who crowdfunded the wall have all the yachts?

  20. Yeah, He Want's To Rebrand It A Trump War, The Whitehouse Will Be The TrumpHouse, The Mexico Border Wall, Well You Can Work It Out, Unless You Voted Trump I Guess.

  21. Yo there's an ad for Wells Fargo offering friendly financial advice… GTFO

    While I'm commenting, we do need a new trade deal with China but negotiated by someone defending the workers

  22. He builds walls instead of bridges, trade war instead of opening trade, and instead of truth, justice and the American way, it’s lies, “witch hunts” and we’re all going to Hell!

  23. So we pay the tariff/taxes, then we subsidize the farmers/Trump's base. Sounds like welfare to me. Sorry, I feel bad for y'all, but you brought it on yourselves by forcing this nutter on the rest of us. So don't be…what did Romney call it?…takers. You'll just have to pull yourselves up by your muddy boot straps. You didn't mind the pain when it was inflicted on others. Bon appetit!

  24. Mueller 😇👍👍👍👍👍🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸✌😎✌

  25. Is there any credibility left for Poopbert the baby clown? The simple-minded "political analyst" is nothing more than a low-class buffoon making silly noises to find significance among the late night group-rhink zoombies.

  26. Jesus was a tall, handsome White Man. He was a racist, did not like blacks and liked Jews even less. Google it !!!

  27. Stephen your People's Eyebrow iz da shit bruh. "The Rock" would be proud. P.S. The Taco Bell line made snot come out of my nose instantaneously! THAT'S COMEDY!!!!!!

  28. Why do people continue to cater to THE WORLD'S DUMBEST WANNABE COUNTRY LEADER….Donald Dumbass Trump???

    All it takes is a sniper OR suicide bomber and everyone can move forward, they can just dump his body in the sewer!!

  29. Why isn't anyone trying to do trump like they did Kennedy smh why isn't there a marksman shooter after this scumbag !?

  30. Call it what it is, an import tax, on the import, the company that imports it pays it as an increase in price and the importer has to cut their profit margin or pass the increase on to the consumer. That means we pay it. Damn liars.

  31. Trump knows nothing about most things. Calls himself a genius, but he is anything but. Truth be known, many of the people trump knew in school were probably the ones he paid to do his school work. He might not have, but that's the bet i would put my money on. He always has been an ace on stupidj>

  32. MR TRUMP IS "THE PRESIDENT OF UNITED STATES" HE HAS A MASTER DEGREE. HE IS INTELIGENT. HE WROTE A VERY GOOD BUSINESS BOOK, HE HAS HONORABLE, RESPECTFUL, MORAL AND PATRIOTICS CHILDREN. AND YOU ARE DESPEAKABLE AND UNRESPECFUL OOL MAN. THAT TO BE RECOGNIZE HAS TO BECOME A MOCKER AND A GROTEST CLOWN. POOR YOU

  33. FIRST of all..I did NOT know Steven Colbert can sing! WOW WHAT A VOICE and he was just teasing @4:25! And 2nd of all…yes the U.S. pays smh.

  34. heh infinity negotiations … is that what you call the negotiations between isreal and pakistan about gaza strip… sorry bad joke both sides lovely people im sure

  35. tRump is correct, if Americans do not buy Chinese products, it will not cost Americans.
    How about getting American Military uniforms made in America, start with your space force ones,
    which is going to be lead by General Buck Rogers.

  36. All the wonderful smart people in great land of America you picked this man ?i know choice wasn’t good but this moron was all you could do? That’s ridiculous !to him it’s all about money he is the 👁️ in the new order he's starting to scare me

  37. Just checking Colbert, Meyers, and Pakman for commentary on Trump saying doctors in Dayton and El Paso left the operating rooms to greet him. Which they of course denied. They'd lose their right to be doctors so fast. PLEASE. Mentally ill much ?

  38. I can picture it now, Johnny busts down the door, counts to 3, then leaves with "Merry x-mas ya filthy animal"…

  39. The pain of higher prices is short term. If it crashes the stock market and slows the economy, then it gets rid of trump. Trump will defeat trump and his arogance has him blind to see it.

  40. A country is not a business. A country lead by a businessman is a bad idea. Tariffs are import taxes which are always paid by the consumers of the importing country. I.e. USA consumers. Whats so difficult to understand ? China does not pay tariffs, Mexico does not pay tariffs.

  41. When Trump decided on his, "World Game of Throne" fantasy strategy, I had a theory that we all where going to have to pay more at the beginning with the basics, food. Bread that once cost $1, now is $2.50 – $3. Mexican avocados, once $1, now $2.50 – $5. The rest economics "Domes day" is sure to follow. So on the next Presidential election 2020, let's show Trump our compassion as we lead him out of office in a straight jacket. "Take America Back Again."

  42. Impeach Category 5 Moronald of Orange who possesses goldfish memory and
    understanding. Call Congress 202-224-3121 to stop this recession hurricane.

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